Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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