i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
