Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize