I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
