I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties