yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands