where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?