Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have already put on my inside pants.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
