Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude