it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.