what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.