he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest