i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.