my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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