u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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