Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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