By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
