I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
