Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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