She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
