The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?