We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.