I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.