Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart