Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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