so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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