I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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