Dude my mom stole all your condoms
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize