I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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