They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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