I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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