I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he thought i was a dude.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
