Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
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He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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