I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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