I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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