Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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