hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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