i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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