no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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