haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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