He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize