I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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