I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize