I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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