from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize