i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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