I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
