Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
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Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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