He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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