oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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