i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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