i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
