If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house