No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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