so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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