That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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