Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
