Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
