Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
